aspirin…. why isn’t the aspirin working?… my back.. is.. feeling.. like.. it should be inverted right now… i should sleep.. but i’m fighting it off right now. not well though.. seems to me.. i have only.. a can a butane and a match as a weapon against it.. KAYAMM.. is slowly becoming a memory again for me.. i’m trying hard to keep in touch with those dear to me. i haven’t talked to any of my philippino group.. matt and elisa.. in a while.. but.. they’re always in my heart and thoughts. the others.. not in my group.. there’s the few.. that i never hear from.. but i think i’m doing a good job of.. staying in touch with the rest. well the ones that want to keep in touch. my days have been .. without any reason. i have no reason to live.. i sit in my room, watch tv, or play on my computer. occasionally i pick up my guitar and play some tunes i remember from the philippines .. and it just puts me in a mood where i wanna do even less so.. i play my computer or.. watch tv again. my muscles are beginning to atrophy. and i’m starting to lose weight. i need to.. move. i want to play tennis. no one will play with me.. i suck anyways. life has thrown me.. into a.. stupid loop and i need to get out of it.. i seriously.. just wake up and sleep now.. sleep sounds good right about now.. i think i just ran out of butane and matches…

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