i was gonna go to sleep right now.. it’s really late.. but i was reading someone’s xanga post… xanga is amazing really. it can make anyone look like a professional webmaster. i wonder why i put so much time into this website, when i’m sure there’s hundreds of websites that have premade webpages that look hundreds of times better.. why’d i bother learning html, when i could’ve just used dreamweaver. anyways… i was reading andreia from sd’s xanga post (monday, 11-25) and she wrote something that i’ve thought of countless times. (countless for me could be 6 or more.. i get bored after i count that high) anyways.. yah.. she wondered if wanted to die by accident is a bad thing.. i grew up strictly christian. strictly sda. and i don’t know where it’s found in the bible. but somewhere.. it’s written that suicide is a bad thing. a terrible thing. one of the worst things you can do. something about how.. if you commit suicide, you didn’t believe God could get you out of the situation.. therefore.. you didn’t really believe in God. but the loophole for me would always be.. if i died on accident.. it wouldn’t be suicide.. like.. if i .. pushed one kid out of the way of a car and got killed or something. doing stupid stuff, and.. saying.. since i’m in God’s hands.. it’s up to him if i live.. i mean.. if it truly isn’t my time to, i’d be protected, correct?…

finish putting up with all the bull that’s in this world. i’m tired of .. just.. everything… you know, we gave girls a rib, and they give us nothing but stress. i’ve been giving so many ultimatums the past couple months.. that is just.. has my head spinning. i don’t understand how God can make something so delicate, sweet, fragile, and beautiful. so deadly, poisonous, strong and scary. i mean.. how can one x instead of a y, make so much difference? it just befuddles me…. “woman.. you can’t live with them, you can’t shoot them” true lies

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