sigh… this is my second attempt on blogger… tonight.. i was stupid and i clicked a link on an aim profile and my blogger window changed… sigh.. anyways.. yah.. i was going to right about something.. nevermind…

i was reading andy’s xanga post today and it hit me… it almost seemed like he was talking directly to me. he talked about decisions and.. not making impulse ones and thinking hard about them.. and not avoiding them. you can’t run forever.. he says.. which is true… sigh.. i’m 21 years old.. and i’m not even close to my senior year of college like i should be.. instead.. i’ve gone to 3 different colleges. i’ve taken one year off at one point. and i haven’t taken a full load twice. and.. i keep thinking.. maybe i should take some more time off.. maybe i should work full time.. this was the impulse decision i got to right before i read andy’s post.

is God trying to tell me something?…

am i saying andy is God?

sigh.. it was an impulse decision that got me to this point in the first place.. all through my senior year of high school.. i had my mind set on going to san diego state. it’s not.. reaching high or anything, but i though it’d be good for me.. but.. the day of turning in the school i’d go to.. my friend asked me to go to long beach and be roommates with him.. so on impulse.. i tore up my san diego acceptance.. and long beach i was going.. that must’ve been the biggest life changing things i’ve done so far.. sigh.. i’m faced with that decision pretty much again.. i can’t go to pcc forever. well i guess i could, but it won’t go anywhere.. either.. way.. where am i going.. for a while.. i had my mind set on going to andrews.. finishing in comp sci and maybe even minoring in theology… but… i’ve been thinking.. michigan is a long way away.. i’ve never once lived further from LA then a regular commute. in the same.. i’ve never lived far from LA Central.. either.. and.. i dread that a lot.. at times i tell myself that if my parents were to ever move.. i’d stay and live here… but yah… change.. i don’t like it.. sigh.. i’ve gotta decide what i’m going to do.. and i gotta stop avoiding it.. sigh.. i’ve got to think about this..

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