well.. everyone.. pat me on the back.. i completed the week and wrote here every day.. i’m pretty sure i won’t have time to write anything later tonight… so mind as well write something now…

it’s so weird when you wake up this early in the morning.. i mean.. it’s 7:45 right now.. i guess it’s not that early.. but still.. my parents left already.. going to palm springs.. i usually wake up at 11 on saturdays.. so much sleep to catch up on from the weekdays.. but you know what.. when you sleep at 11 every night.. you end up not having a lot of sleep to catch up on.. so.. yah… i’m up.. now… shrug..

you know.. what i didn’t include in the random things about me on the left side.. that i’m sda.. i feel like that’s such a given though.. if you know me.. i feel like.. there’s no way you couldn’t know.. it’s such a part of my life.. i’m not sure what i’d do if i didn’t have church every sabbath… but yah.. shrug.. but with that said.. i’m contemplating whether or not i’m going to church for the right reasons… i’ve been going to church all my life.. though i know my parents would freak if i didn’t go, i still pretty much have the choice.. but still i go.. is it just habitual thing?.. it’s not that i question God’s existance… my life would be.. drastically different if i ever started believing there’s no God.. but.. knowing that.. why do i do the certain things i do… i don’t know..

i find myself going to church for the social/fellowship aspect a lot.. and i’m not sure if that’s entirely a good thing. what’s the point of listening to the sermon when all i’m thinking about is the potluck after.. or.. talking to someone about something that happened last week or something.. very not church related.. is that a bad thing?.. i find myself .. spending a lot more time with church people these days.. and i think to myself a lot.. these people are .. good people.. most’ve them are vegetarian or.. hmm.. church lifers. and then i think to myself.. that.. a couple years ago.. i would’ve never pictured myself spending time with any of them…

i’m not sure of what i’m looking for.. i’m not sure if i’m actually looking for anything..

i’m going to do qt now.. i haven’t done that in quite a long time.. but yah.. again.. when you wake up earlier than you have anything to do.. then.. you have a lot of time on your hands.. so i guess i should use it for some good. i’m out.