i had an odd dream last night.. i only remember bits and pieces of it.. i remember the feeling of being on a trip.. and i remember being inside a house.. the house kinda reminded me of place i stayed at for a couple nights almost 10 years ago in new jersey. i remember there was big screen tv and i was watching tv.. here’s the odd part…

i was holding someone in my dream. don’t ask me who it was.. actually.. if you ask me, i’ll probably tell you.. but anyways.. so there i was sitting on the couch and she was sitting in front of me with her back to me with my arms around her as she watched the tv too. i woke up and i was like… what was that about…

if you know me.. you know.. i’m not a very.. hug-gy person. i don’t give many hugs. i don’t accept many. it ends up feeling very.. awkward for me. i remember this one time.. i met my aunt who lives up north.. and she came to me to hug me.. and i just.. stood there like a … tree.. and she said.. hug me back.. don’t you know how to hug?

shrug .. it’s awkward…

i remember this other time, la central had just come back from their mission trip and jullie came up to me.. and it looked like she was about to hug me.. so i stuck out my hand and we shook hands… she told me then that we had never hugged before..

i’ve noticed i don’t have a problem huggng certain people though. when i saw shani at the retreat i hugged her. i don’t think i have a problem hugging rosemead girls either.. or is it cause they innitiate and i can’t react in time.. hmm..

on monday.. jeannie commented on how i was holding a pillow. sarah said it was sweet or something along those lines.. i don’t get it.. i just thought it was comfortable.. i don’t know..

you know.. hugs are important things.. i don’t know what it is about them that people like so much… maybe it’s the feeling of warmth. or that you’re not alone. it lets people get past your comfort zone. makes you vulnerable. nothing brightens your day better than a perfect hug.. i’m talking about the ones where your bodies completely match…. that perfect person..

sigh.. i’m getting tired and i don’t know how i’m gonna end this.. so i’ll just end it here and go to sleep.. i wonder what i’ll dream about tonight…

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