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the road to ten thousand

well.. looking at the stats for this website, i realized.. the next hit is going to be my 10,000th hit since i added the counter 3 years ago. this is quite an accomplishment for me.. this website being not a xanga site and having no links to it other than my own buddy profile.

as appreciation.. i’m giving free ice cream at coldstones to the one that got me over the top. if you’re reading this.. chances are you’re the one! sign my guestbook or im me.. (it’ll probably be easier to sign my guestbook.. i’d appreciate it more) and i’ll get back to you to see if you were the 10000th. if you live far away.. this might be harder.. because i’d want to eat some too..

chances are… the hit will come from either susan, jonathan or grace… but who knows

there’s a chance the hit will come before i finish this blog.. hehe

looking over my guestbook hits.. it’s like.. a time capsule for me. i see who was important to me.. who was part of my life… who was thinking of me. some names surprise me.. some names.. don’t.. (like every other one seems to be a grace).. hit up my guestbook and.. well.. you’ll share that place in my memory..

i’ve had quite a bit of hidden guestbook hits of late…

sometimes.. though.. when i look over my blogger archives.. i realize.. i leave out a lot of things.. i leave out my deepest feelings whether they may be good or bad. i rarely ever talk about people in general. i’ve only directly written the word “Grace” 11 times in the past 3 years and they’re not all about the same people. the only times i’m truly true to myself is when i write the prayers.

maybe i should rename this to

timssuperficiallife.reallyrules.com

thetimhewantsyoutoknow.reallyrules.com

timslife.reallyrules.buthedoesntwanttotellyouwhy.com

that being said.. i think you can sense my inner emotions in my blogs. when i’m sad.. i seem to write more depressing things.. when i’m happy.. it shows in the writing. when i’m.. blah.. i don’t seem to write as much. it’s what’s really written in between the lines that’s important.

i take this blog not as a diary.. but a journal.. when i first started this.. i was a deeply emotional guy.. not that i’m not now.. i was told i needed a place to vent my emotions and i think it’s helped a lot..

i thank you for being a part of this blog and this life of mine.

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yesterday’s future

the last couple weeks have been really interesting for me. if you’ve been looking for me to post.. i’m sorry.. i’ve been trying to keep myself away from the computer of late. that’s proven to be a little problematic for me being a cs major and all.

i revisited my past a couple times .. and made plans for my future.

i did something i thought i never could do.. and did something i never wanted to do. i realized.. i’m not as stubborn as i once was.. i’m not as unhappy as i once thought.

love was again.. the underlying theme of my life. it’s an amazing thing… something i still quite haven’t understood. is it a feeling or.. is it more? grace is amazing as well. it has enabled me to atone for my biggest roadblock in my spiritual life. now.. i can grow again. now i can move.

all i can do is trust God. i don’t know what tomorrow’ll bring but… i trust that i’ll be able to face it. i trust it’ll turn out good at the end.

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ponder

contemplating shaving my head

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soccer tourney

i pretty much did that all day. got to the soccer field by 7, started playing@9? stayed until.. 4? i played for a half and half of a half. that’s what.. 30 minutes?

it’s been some time.. and i was planning on not saying anything about the tournament.. but after seeing this picture on the rosemead website.. i felt i should..

it really disgusted me how competitive people can be at a church event. every game you watch, you hear grown men twice my age, cussing at each other in korean. it kills me how dirty some of the players are. (let’s not mention number 32 of la central – makes my blood boil). i don’t remember the first touney i played in being so bad.

the rosemead youth’s agent.. mike.. is discussing practice times with the adults.

i suppose to sway a better deal, mike told the adults i was going to play for the la central team. andrew’s dad told me he’d give me more playing time and a personal jersey. if i get to shake hands with the other team, it’s more playing time for me

i really enjoy playing soccer. one of my more memorable times when i was younger was playing in that one soccer league for a year. KYST. apparently bora was in that league too? weird..

originally, i was going to ask kange’s dad if i could play for la central. my only stipulation.. if i saw number 32 or that one coach playing dirty or being stupid, i’d walk off the field. i’d much rather play for rosemead though. they started me up playing soccer again and i feel an obligation/comradry with them.

seems soccer cuts into my surfing time though..

we’ll see what happens..

**odd moment on that day – that one glendale guy.. the oldest one.. he came up to me and hugged and smiled at me randomly in the middle of the day.

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walrus

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happy birthday baby

well yah..

i’m glad.. i got.. to know.. you..

hehehe

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a weekend of firsts

the waves were unusual last sunday. they were long waves that would sometimes suddenly wall up. anyways.. on the first wave i caught.. i was struggling to get up. when i got to my knees, my board suddenly shot up in the air. and i, in turn shot up with my board.. and for a brief moment…

woooOOOooo! i was flying through the air.

my arms flailed in the air… mike said he heard me yelp. honestly.. i’m sure it didn’t last more than a brief moment… but it was the most awesome feeling.

coming back down… i landed back on my board on my knees. i was able to get on my feet and ride it for brief moment more..

on what i made the last wave of the day, i was trying to catch a wave. in the last second it walled up on me. now.. if you’ve never surfed before.. i’m sure you don’t know the experience of looking down from the top of a wave right before it breaks. it’s.. quite a scary thing.. well.. i was looking down, and i went over the top.. and dropped headfirst more than a couple feet onto my board… headfirst.

at that point i was swept up by the wave.. and i became totally disoriented not knowing which way was up. i realize.. whenever i get swept under a wave and it takes longer than i expect to get out of the water, at a certain point, i struggle with my fate. will i find the surface? will i die here today?…

i came out of the water after that. when i first came out, i thought there was a patch of seawead stuck on my board. i later came to realize it was a patch of my hair. i wish i had a camera at the time. now the only remnants is a pressure dent from my head…

sunday was the most fun surfing i’ve had in a while..

saturday was the first time we used the new sound system for praise. i must thank mr. hong for everything. he’s put so much work into it. and it’s amazing what he can do with wire and pliers. just incredible.

i thought praise sounded awesome too

on friday night, the power shorted during practice so we had practice a capella. it was the first time in a long time i heard vivian sing. it made me realize why i wanted her in the praise team when i first started. if only she’d sing like that with a mic.

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