it’s raining…

i usually love the rain. God’s reminder that He’s there, is what i tell myself. But i’m not feeling it today. While the sane of the world slept in their comfortable beds last night at 3 in the morning, i went downstairs to my car to get a gift bag.

in the rainbow colored sack was a bag of flaming hot fries and a wild cherry pepsi. i ate and drank and it was good. after midnight, i ignore the 600 calories inside the flaming hot fries. and my better judgment leaves me. even now, as i write about the fries, i want to drive to 7-11 to buy a delicious bag. in a post-midnight epiphany i realzed the surgeon general may say that cigarettes are addictive, but these MSG-coated finger-licking mouthwatering flaming hot fries are my obsession…

i also realized that wild cherry pepsi has 10 more calories than regular pepsi. i doubt they use actual cherries; i wonder what gives it that cherry kick.

i slept hours after i ate and drank so merrily. i awoke too soon after to the sound of my phone beckoning my attention. an intense pain pulsed in the center of my head.

i had to make a decision this month. pay my cellphone bill or get to eat. i chose the former. i feel a bitterness toward this phone since. other than for the time, a text or an occasional picture, i hate this phone. it’s like a chain anchored onto my normally unattached body. every time it rings, it’s someone who wants something; needs me to do something.

i scurried across my oversize bed. ‘mom’ was highlighted in light blue across my phone display. the intercom in my home has probably been used more by visitors than those in our household. my mom chooses to call me instead. i ignored it and closed my eyes.

the phone rang again. what i perceived to be only moments later was actually hours. i ignored it again.

—-

i awake with the same throbbing pain. now my left ear feels plugged and i have a odd numb tingling sensation throughout my body. no more flaming hot fries for me. at least not after midnight.

i start my routine.

i’m very much a creature of habit. i open my eyes then check the time. i turn on the computer and head for the bathroom. then i open up firefox and check the same websites. juno.com. gmail.com. sitemeter.com. dodgers.com. my rss feeds. xanga. in that order.

today, i just don’t feel right. and it’s raining.

i blame sarah and joey for the rain. it’s murphy’s law. decent weather in california is always interrupted when visitors come expecting sun. when it rains and i’m sick, i feel like i’m in grade school. it’s lunch time, the longest recess, but it’s raining, so we all have to stay inside our classroom. where’s God?

i’m going to lie down

i had a really hard time with verb tense while writing. hope what i wrote made sense

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