Sometimes, when no one is looking, I like to sink to the bottom of the pool and look up at the surface. I feel a serene stillness when I see the chaotic rippling above me. Sound becomes empty and secondary. As my lungs ache for air, the difference between life and death is counted in precious seconds. God slows down the world for me so I can breathe.

I’ve been spinning in the morning. Then I’ve been swimming. In all other times, I’ve been struggling to stay awake. According to, I burn somewhere from 1000 to 2000 calories in the morning.

After 2 weeks of it, it’s equated to me losing about 2 pounds. I didn’t really expect much but I did figure I’d be under 170 by now.

It’s not so bad; My clothes are starting to fit better so there must be something going on.

It’s funny how things in life seem to always relate to each other. In Bio, we’re learning about carbohydrates and the differences of each -ose. After spin, my coach told everyone to eat complex carbs, not simple carbs. I instantly knew what he was talking about.

After the pep-talk, I vowed to not drink as much Pepsi. After class, Jessica and I went to my new favorite place, Sbarro’s and she asked me if I wanted a Pepsi. I couldn’t say no.

What is this hold you have on me? Why can’t I shake your sweetness on my tongue? You’re so good, yet so bad. My mouth waters for you; my heart yearns for you.

My empty carbs consumption (ie. pepsi, cinnamon rolls, ice cream) probably equates to my exercise burn. If I could just stop eating badly and continue to exercise, imagine the possibilities.

The irony of all the cardiovascular exercise I do is that I turn out to be even more tired than when I don’t do exercise. Sure I can now swim 25 meters without much thought and bike for an hour, but at 12 o’clock when I walk up the stairs for Bio, my quads are killing me. Whenever I’m not exercising, I’m recovering from it. So I feel worse off than usual.


I don’t feel good when I exercise because I’m tired from the exercise. When I don’t exercise, I don’t feel good because I need to exercise.


losing weight with widgets

One of the many new types software I’ve been using is yahoo widgets. It’s kind of like google gadgets but the widgets aren’t confined to a side bar. It’s more like mac’s dashboard. I love it. I’d run it simply for the “one photo” widget. It looks incredible on my desktop.

I can see why it’s not that popular. If I didn’t have 2 gigs of ram and a quad core processor, I think it’d significantly slow my computer down. Each widget uses about 15 mb’s of ram.

One widget I’ve been using lately is from skinnyr.

The widget makes keeping track of my weight a breeze.

For the summer, I’ve signed myself up for some intense exercise. Cycling for 2 hours. Swimming for 2 hours. Let’s see if it makes a difference. I’ve created a mini blog with skinnyr and linked it to my sidebar. Keep track with my progress either on this post or using the link.

I used to have a mini blog about 4 years ago and each post said i weighed about 140 pounds. I almost feel like that’s a girly weight now.

I’m hoping by August this graph will look like our economy.


in the secret

We did this a couple months ago after praise practice. At the end of the clip, Pastor Chung walks in and asks me who is going to lock up the church.

I don’t know why my head bobs so much.

It’s weird hearing myself play the guitar because I don’t hear this when I play. I feel like I only play chords. My talking voice is also much lower than what i hear in my head.

At times, when Jessica sings, she get gets this country twang. I love it!

I’m sure we’ll make more silly clips after finals.


google banners



talk about irony

I saw this shirt at

Many years ago, Joey asked a question in the middle of one of his sermons. “What are the hardest wrinkles to iron out?”

Jennifer blurted “Ones you make yourself.”

Then she turned to the person to her left and gave him the most dorky know-it-all look.

Unfortunately for me, I was that person to her left.

To this day, when I iron, the image of her oddly contorted face burns into the projection screen of my brain.

I do my own ironing and I’ve been doing so for as long as I can remember. Ironing is easy stuff. I love the sound of the steam blasting through the fabric and the thick smell of it in the air.

I generally started with the front. There’s a certain pleasure I get when the wrinkles near the pockets and near the buttons smoothen out.

Then I do the arms/sleeves. I don’t put too much time into them because I usually roll up my sleeves anyway.

I iron the back. Every shirt has one or two of those creases that need to be iron delicately to create the perfect line. After the back, I do the shoulder. I always find this part to be the hardest. Ironing boards seem to lack the area to do this in one swoop. Tedious.

Last, the collar. Compared to the shoulders, this is child’s play.

Ironing is interesting. When I do it myself, I look at the finished product and I marvel at the changes. This wrinkly badly-placed piece of fabric has been molded to become presentable, smooth, fashionable.

I like to iron my own shirts. When someone else irons them, I can’t help but notice the places they missed, the forgotten areas maybe around the armpit or the difficult parts around the shoulders. But when I iron my own shirt, I see those places, but I’m willing to disregard them.

Sometimes, I have to iron my wrinkle-free dress pants. That process is harder than the shirts.

Then there’s life, which is a whole another story.


A Day to Remember

Jessica and I found ourselves in Palos Verdes with time to spare craving donuts. After driving to, to our dismay, a phantom Krispy Kreme, we settled for this no-name donut shop Jessica thought was named Douche Boys. This little ghetto hole-in-the-wall turned out to serve quite delicious donuts. I savored every bite of my raspberry-filled glazed donut. Even now, as I reminisce my mouth waters.

After “ruining our appetites,” we headed to a California Pizza Kitchen we had passed on our journey to the donut. CPK holds claim to be our unofficial favorite. Why not! I don’t even look at the menu when we sit down. I want my Pepsi, Yes, I want bread, and I want the brocolli/sun-dried tomato fusilli, no chicken.

After dinner, we had a post-meal dessert, Tiramisu. It seems Jessica and I have many desserts through out the day. We have pre-meal dessert, post-meal dessert, between-meal dessert. She lets me assuage my sweet tooth and that’s why suki desu.

While we waited for our food, I took this picture of Jessica squeezing her cheeks together. I feel like she looks like Thomas the Tank Engine when she does it. She’ll probably kill me after seeing this but I love it. I can’t stop smiling while I look at her.

This Saturday didn’t really turn out any way near how I thought it would. But it started great, ended great… and in-the-between, no one died, so that was great, too.


blue screening

It’s been a tough last couple of months.


Driving home from church, my car lost her legs. Revving at 6000 rpm, I crawled down the 10 freeway. (I burned out the clutch). I stood in the parking lot of a laundry mat next to the Walnut Grove off ramp getting my bearings. My car had come to a dead stop about 10 yards away from the parking space. It was 12 midnight.


After installing the newest service pack from Windows, my computer would blue-screen during load. I’m usually pretty good at troubleshooting problems but this problem wouldn’t even let me boot to safe mode. After a few days of trying different things, I gave up and tried to reinstall old windows.

While the installation was in process, my computer started rebooting randomly.

Finally, after my computer rebooted one last time during installation, I literally saw my hard drive spark, then smoke. The hard drive was having issues earlier, but I never expected this. The hard drive was completely fried. It contained all my mp3’s and movies I’ve amassed in the last half year or so.

My hatred for Windows increases.


I went significantly over on my phone bill last month. The culprit was internet use. I had been checking mail, facebook and sports far too often during class. Now I had to pay.


I’ve been gaining weight like crazy. A little over a year ago today, I weighed myself at 155 pounds. A few days ago, the scale told me I was 176.4. I wasn’t even surprised.


My brown slippers, the slippers Jennifer Cha got me years ago have finally started to fall apart. I think I’m known for wearing these islanders. It’s so hard to find replacements.


As I write, I think Jessica’s buying me slippers from Nordstroms.


My weight has plateau-ed. For the past month, I’ve been able to eat anything and my weight has stayed at a consistent 175. It’s a relief actually.


While my computer was under, Jessica lent me her Macbook. I’m using it now to write this blog. Althought it was difficult in the beginning, I’m starting to really appreciate the little nuances a Mac offers. (Kind of like the Jetta). The great thing is this campus is full wireless. No more overminute charges.

Class time flies by.

I’ve always loved apples. But now I like Apple.


I had been meaning to install a new hard drive for my computer. My hard drives, DVD-rom and CD writer were all IDE and my motherboard had only one IDE connection. That meant, I could only use one hard drive at a time if I wanted to use a disk drive as well. When my hard drive fried it was the perfect excuse for me to buy a new one. I found a 500 gb SATA hard drive at Fry’s for 89 bucks and I jumped on it.

I had bought my motherboard from Fry’s last October and I always had some issues with it. Before I installed Windows on the new hard drive I updated my BIOS. Now i have no problems whatsoever.

After building my Core2Quad last fall, I never reinstalled Windows. I had been meaning to, but I always made excuses not to.

Now, my computer runs faster than before.

Because of my new love for Macs, I’ve been using ObjectDock, Safari, and Open Office. It feels like I’m using a new computer.


While driving home from church, my car began to struggle to keep 65. I pulled to the right lane and revving at 6000 RPM passed the 710 freeway, I drove 55 to my freeway exit. I called my dad.

“AhPah, my car is about to die.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m on the freeway.”
“Call me if it gets worse.”

By the time, I got to Walnut Grove, the clutch was gone. I cruised down the Walnut Grove exit. There were no cars in front of me so I didn’t need to stop. The two exit intersections were green so I didn’t have to stop there. My car cruised into an empty parking lot without any incident.

I called my dad and told me where I was.

A few moments later, my dad arrived with the AAA to tow me to my house.

Later, he gave me the keys to his car and I’ve been driving it since.


The last couple months haven’t been so bad.


previous · next