i was gonna go to sleep right now.. it’s really late.. but i was reading someone’s xanga post… xanga is amazing really. it can make anyone look like a professional webmaster. i wonder why i put so much time into this website, when i’m sure there’s hundreds of websites that have premade webpages that look hundreds of times better.. why’d i bother learning html, when i could’ve just used dreamweaver. anyways… i was reading andreia from sd’s xanga post (monday, 11-25) and she wrote something that i’ve thought of countless times. (countless for me could be 6 or more.. i get bored after i count that high) anyways.. yah.. she wondered if wanted to die by accident is a bad thing.. i grew up strictly christian. strictly sda. and i don’t know where it’s found in the bible. but somewhere.. it’s written that suicide is a bad thing. a terrible thing. one of the worst things you can do. something about how.. if you commit suicide, you didn’t believe God could get you out of the situation.. therefore.. you didn’t really believe in God. but the loophole for me would always be.. if i died on accident.. it wouldn’t be suicide.. like.. if i .. pushed one kid out of the way of a car and got killed or something. doing stupid stuff, and.. saying.. since i’m in God’s hands.. it’s up to him if i live.. i mean.. if it truly isn’t my time to, i’d be protected, correct?…

finish putting up with all the bull that’s in this world. i’m tired of .. just.. everything… you know, we gave girls a rib, and they give us nothing but stress. i’ve been giving so many ultimatums the past couple months.. that is just.. has my head spinning. i don’t understand how God can make something so delicate, sweet, fragile, and beautiful. so deadly, poisonous, strong and scary. i mean.. how can one x instead of a y, make so much difference? it just befuddles me…. “woman.. you can’t live with them, you can’t shoot them” true lies

what a difference one day makes.. it’s amazing some times how.. one person can make themselves be able to be on your mind by doing absolutely nothing at all.. little things like.. seeing a yellow light.. or.. pulling the ends of a straw wrapper.. make you wonder.. do they think the same thing when they come across the same thing.. anyways.. yah.. i’m not sure exactly what i’m babbling about…

just saw 007 … funny how they portray north koreans.. but overall it was a good movie.. the american spy seemed to have a bigger part in this bond movie. more than usual.. i still question some parts but.. yah.. one of the better bonds.

like ripples in a pond…

God.. i just pray .. you know i’m looking up .. waiting for you to .. lend a hand here.. i need a smile, yah?… sigh. it’s amazing how in.. one instant.. everything can suddenly turn to great to.. what is going on… when everything that happened before.. just doesn’t matter any more. when time seems to speed up and slow down.. at the same time. and all you can feel is .. sick.. just plain.. sick to your stomach… things turn upside down.. and then just spin. over and over. where are you going to be when i feel like this?

we’re connected

It’s kinda weird how .. when someone has a bad day… everyone has a bad day. it’s like.. how yawns are contagious. moods are contagious too. it’s amazing how one little smile from the right person can make your day in a second.. just think about if you’re frowning, or sulking.. or .. crying… how would that make the right person react?…

everyone you care about is in this pond

i’ve gone to church for all my life. i haven’t missed a sabbath, not.. ‘resting’. it’s home for me. and every time i leave LA Central.. i find myself coming back to it all the time. what’s there? i don’t get my infatuation with my mistress, lac. o.. how do you tempt me to come back to your warm embrace. i love you. i miss you. i cannot live without you… i am the church. and you are the church. la central is not a building. the saying.. i’m with .. LA Central. means.. i’m with.. her.. my mistress… my love.

when you’re hurt, i feel it

yah… i’m feeling it …

someone come ease the pain…

—– gibberish at 3 in the morning

o.. before i sleep.. i’m gonna add this as links later but… if you want to see blogger archives, read anything you missed… it’s here

the la central website i’ve been working on is here

and last but not least.. here’s the first poem i’m putting on my website. it’s written by grace… called when