it’s almost exactly a week since the last time i’ve written here… i guess in a way i have a lot to write about.. a lot has happened since.. but.. i really don’t know what to write about.. what to talk about… maybe i’m feeling a little lazy.. i think it’s more of tired… i’m exhausted.. and i’m not sure exactly why i feel that way..

catalina was.. cold.. my allergies were running a muck too… at one point.. i coughed so hard.. my right contact popped out… for some reason.. i couldn’t sleep at night because of muscle aches… the first night it was only my back that was killing me.. the second night was my whole body.. i literally thought i was going to die that night.. every muscle in my body was screaming for help… growing pains maybe?.. i doubt it… though.. i technically never went through them… technically i never went through the.. whole.. voice changing/breaking stage either.. it was just a gradual thing..

jina told me a while back that i should write a journal to let out emotions so i don’t bottle them up.. that’s what this websites for.. i have much past history of lashing out.. i realize.. i’m a very angry individual.. and i’m a very insecure one too… i’m not sure what i’m angry about.. and i don’t know what i’m afraid of.. but.. i think both emotions just fuel each other.. and… burn me deep inside.. who knows what the long term effects of that will be…

i’m waiting for something good to happen in my life.. something that doesn’t have strings… i’m so sick of strings.. sick of having to pretend to be totally happy even though things didn’t turn out quite right… i don’t like talking about this.. cause i don’t want to seem like a whining about it… it irritates the hell out of me.. when other people bitch about their lives.. “o.. life sucks.. boo hoo”… get over yourself.. i don’t want to be like one of them… sigh.. don’t mind me..

i’m just a little exhausted right now..

or maybe just tired..

or maybe i’m just being a little lazy

things don’t seem right at the moment… am i living in a dream?.. there’s certain themes that have been too repetitive..

i expect to wake up to find jason mraz and coldplay playing on repeat on my mp3 player… you don’t know how many people have asked me about them… “what’re your thoughts on coldplay.. do you like.. coldplay”.. no.. i don’t.. i don’t like them at all… “jason mraz is awesome, huh? download this song. listen to this song. go to the concert…” shut up … i don’t like him either.. honestly.. people.. jason mraz? shut up about him..

i’m going to to wake up and realize that everything between me and jullie didn’t happen. everything’s cool and back to normal.. i’m gonna wake up and next time i see her.. she’s gonna kick me in the butt, put her hands on her hips.. and make that grunting sound.. wait.. that really isn’t any different from this dream i’m having…

i’m gonna realize.. there is no crystal.. she’s a character i made up with my imagination… i’m picking my own flower.. i’m iming my own sn… i’m writing myself notes and making websites.. have you seen… fight club… that one guy has two personalities?.. currently.. i’m brad pitt.. i’m at top physical shape

have you ever had a dream where you’re doing pullups but you can do them forever?… well.. i feel like that when i run.. and it seems i can run forever.. i’m running at faster than i’ve ever run.. and i’m not getting tired.. i’m at a constant 137 now… every morning i wake up.. 137.. my parents are worried i’m losing too much weight.. my mom actually got mad at me the other day for not eating.. and my dad.. keeps telling me to eat healthy… obviously.. i’m losing weight.. i haven’t had a home cooked meal in .. 3 weeks now… and.. when you eat out every day.. you realize.. man.. your funds are getting low… so.. by and by.. you start eating less…

give me a break…

i gotta wake up…

the dreams i have when i’m “sleeping” are even weirded.. they’re filled with.. oddly.. a lot of running too.. and of a whole bunch of random people giving me random advice.. or.. asking odd questions…

“because you love me, right?”.. of course… wait.. who are you.. who says i love you?…

o boy.. now i hear kid rock singing country…

someone wake me up now…

got this profile from andy

General Stuff

Full name: timothy lynn-won myung

Nickname(s): tim

Height: 5′7″

Siblings: jean

Birthplace: arcadia, ca

Birthday: september 23

Where you live now: san gabriel, ca

Nationality: korean

Languages: english

Single or Taken: single

Favorite…

Food: pasta

Drink: cherry coke

Movie: gladiator

Book: chicken soup series

Quote/Saying: whatever

TV Show: west wing, simpsons

Musical Group/Person: switchfoot, staind, sum 41,

Type of Music: rock

Sports Team: dodgers

Athlete: ray lewis

Which do you prefer?

Dress up or Dress down: up

Flip phone or candy bar phone: flip

Black or White: umm.. blue

Buy cd or download a cd: download

Flowers or candy: cookies

BMW or Mercedes: vw

Rap or Rock: rock

Laptop or Desktop: i want a laptop

Have you ever…

Been in love: probably

Drank Alcohol: yes

Smoked: yes

Done Drugs: i’ve been taking advil almost daily

Cheated on a Test: yes

Been in Jail: no

Gotten a Ticket: two speeding tickets

Got in a fight: yes

Run away from home: yes

Broken a bone: yes, both bones in my left wrist and my right elbow

Stayed up all night studying: yes

Stayed up talking with someone: yes

Stayed up all night thinking about someone: yes

Stayed up all night because of someone: yes

Opposite Sex

What do you first notice: smile

What do you look for (physical): nice butt

What do you look for (personality): flirt, happy

Have a crush: yes

Ever had a significant other: yes

Ever been rejected: yes

Ever been cheated on: yes

Ever cheated on Someone: no

Ever rejected Someone: yes

Finish the Sentence

Life is…short, play hard

Death is… inevitable

Happiness is… a state of mind

Sadness is… not being able to say how you feel

When you’re down and troubled

And you need a helping hand

And nothing, oh, nothing is going right,

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name

And, you know, wherever I am

I’ll come running (oh yeah baby)

To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you’ve got to do is call

And I’ll be there, yeah yeah yeah

You’ve got a friend

If the sky above you

Should turn dark and full of clouds

And that old north wind should begin to blow

Keep your head together

And call my name out loud

Soon I’ll be knocking upon your door

You just call out my name

And, you know, wherever I am

I’ll come running (oh yes I will)

To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall (yeah)

All you’ve got to do is call

And I’ll be there, yeah yeah yeah

Hey, ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend

When people can be so cold

They hurt you and desert you,

Well, they take your soul if you let them,

Oh, yeah, but don’t you let them

You just call out my name

And, you know, wherever I am

I’ll come running to see you again

(Oh baby don’t you know ’bout)

Winter, spring, summer or fall

(Hey now) All you’ve got to do is call

Lord, I’ll be there, yeah I’ll be there

James Taylor – You’ve got a friend

it’s.. amazing how much can happen in one particular night..you can spend the night playing a fun game of graffiti.. or literati or.. whatever… stress about the next days fantasy baseball results… stress about homework.. or tests or.. having nothing at all to do… you can realize how much some of your friends care about you.. and how little others do… how easy it is to step away.. or how hard it is to let go…

you can spend it .. endlessly calling someone’s voicemail.. or.. enjoying a nice conversation with someone you just met.. or you can spend it telling one of the most closest people to you.. to fuck off.. and see your perfect world suddenly tumble into chaos…

i’ve.. made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime… i make so many more every day…

what’s going to happen tomorrow night..