it’s kinda weird.. waking up and having no reason to wake up… opening my eyes and not seeing 9 other people scratching their heads and wishing the night was a little longer… not having to jump out of bed to be any where or needing to rush to get some where on time… if you didn’t know.. and there’s a good chance you didn’t.. but.. i’ve been gone for the past 2 and half weeks.. i touched a computer twice in that span.. and looked at my website zero times…

it’s weird that i’ve been listening to nothing but christian music for the last 2 and half weeks.. and.. the first thing i do when i turn on my computer is listen to more christian music… i’m having a really hard time multi-tasking.. i almost get almost frustrated when i’m talking to more than 2 people and i’m looking at my fantasy baseball team.. my fantasy team is on the fritz right now… i picked up.. 4 players yesterday…

first thing i did when i got back was kiss my jetta… i missed it so much.. my computer crashed so i had to fix it.. now i’m doing laundry… i need a haircut too… i wonder if my arm is healed enough to play baseball… it’s so hot though… in a way… i kinda got used to be driven around everywhere… man.. do i want to drive all the way to puc?

i’m five shades darker now.. and i didn’t need to be darker in the first place… if i play baseball today.. i’ll be another shade darker.. not good… but it’s .. baseball…

weird pictures of me.. whatever..

here’s the lyrics to a switchfoot song i heard more than a few times over the trip..

switchfoot – only hope

There’s a song that’s inside of my soul

It’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again

I’m awake in the infinite cold

But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours

I pray to be only Yours

I know now you’re my only hope

Sing to me of the song of the stars

Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again

When you feel like my dreams are so far

Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

And I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you’re my only hope

I give you my apathy

I’m giving you all of me

I want your symphony

Singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs I’m giving it back

And I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I pray to be only yours

I know now you’re my only hope

**********

o.. i’m gonna be gone all next week probably too.. so.. yah.. i think i’m going to play my guitar

i did a pretty long survey at de luz last week.. it was one of those what is your spiritual gifts surveys. anyways… my results came out somewhat like i expected.. i had high scores in evangelism and missionary.. and low in .. healing, exholtation, tongues, and prophecy.. leadership was kinda high for me, which i didn’t really expect.. but the one gift i was highest on, which did surprise me, was faith. according to this survey, my spiritual gift is faith.

i guess in a way.. it makes some sense.. i’ve never really ever questioned the existance of God.. i don’t ever tell myself.. what if there’s no God and believe it. i guess to me.. God has always been.. like.. that one grandfather that lives far away, or like that toy in the closet that you love to play with but get bored of really fast.. i mean.. it’s there.. i don’t question that it’s there.. it’s just hidden somewhere in the background…

i love the lyrics to this mercy me song..

“…the last thing i need is to be heard

but to hear what You would say…”

what a great line..

my watch has run out of batteries.. or.. i guess.. it’d be battery.. because i believe there’s only one.. i’ve been wearing this hairband rubberband thing on my wrist instead ’cause i feel naked without something on my wrist… weird thing is… someone left their watch in my guitar.. well.. it isn’t my guitar, but jennifer’s.. but i probably play it more.. either way.. i have a light blue timex sport watch. if anyone lost it.. tell me. i think it’s a girls watch.

yesterday, i went into my church’s elevator and i pushed the button to go upstairs.. and the doors closed and they opened again.. no one was outside.. no one was even in the church… the doors seem to open for no reason.. so.. outloud i said.. “ok jesus.. come in here”

mercy me – word of God speak

I’m finding myself at a loss for words

And the funny thing is it’s okay

The last thing I need is to be heard

But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak

Would You pour down like rain

Washing my eyes to see

Your majesty

To be still and know

That You’re in this place

Please let me stay and rest

In Your holiness

Word of God speak

I’m finding myself in the midst of You

Beyond the music, beyond the noise

All that I need is to be with You

And in the quiet hear Your voice

other good songs by mercy me are “give us clean hands” and the ever popular “i can only imagine”

it’s only 11:11.. and it’s kinda funny, ’cause i feel like it’s way past my bedtime… i’m dead tired right now.. and that’s even after i took a 2 hour nap earlier today.. i wonder what time i’m going to wake up tomorrow morn… hmm.. here’s a recap of last week

woke up at 5 every day by gloria to run

ate every meal every day except friday night

i was in temecula on monday, wednesday, friday, saturday and sunday

caught tadpoles in a stream

got eaten up by bugs

did devotions every day

had my one week anniversary of marriage

had a fan club

pissed off some more girls

crashed my computer

had the worst praise practice ever

had the worst praise ever

drove 500 miles

slept by 11

i was sitting next to the fire place outside at de luz playing my guitar.. and well whenever i go there.. i get this feeling.. this weird feeling.. maybe it’s the sulfur in the air.. or.. the memories.. but.. i always question my status with God.. and.. there i was again.. on last saturday .. thinking about God.. and wondering why i didn’t have that excitement i once had.. so.. once again.. i closed my eyes.. and i said a small prayer.. God… give me a sign on what i should do… amen…

i went inside and.. well.. i hadn’t been going to the lectures.. ’cause well.. they seemed really boring to me.. but anyways.. i walked in and the next thing on the agenda was the voluntary prayer meeting.. so.. i decided to stay in the living room like i had been doing the last couple times it was going on.. but jina said.. “let’s go pray.” so i went inside to pray.. and.. i walked in in the middle of when pastor myers(sp?) was speaking.. and the only thing i caught was.. pray for 40 days… that’s all he asked for.. not a simple prayer.. but a deep prayer..

and i thought about it to myself.. and lately i hadn’t been praying all that much.. true.. i’ve been thinking about God a lot and… doing a lot of .. church-ly things.. but… talking directly to God.. was something i hadn’t done in.. a while… instead of .. talking to God.. i’ve been just talking to myself.. so.. well.. i took the pastor up on his challenge.. and i’m going to pray every day for the next 40 days…

i was talking to monica after.. she told me she’d be noticing i’ve been getting less and less involved in the activities at de luz and that she was praying that i’d do more.. and i guess.. her prayer was answered…

we’ll see where my spiritual life is 40 days..

we lift our voices

louder still

God is near

God is near

we love you, lord

we love you,

we love you