laureen’s analysis of the dream
azn3ERRY: that was quite interesting, your latest entry
TIMe ToIM TIM: hmm?
azn3ERRY: on you website
TIMe ToIM TIM: o
TIMe ToIM TIM: i see
TIMe ToIM TIM: haha
TIMe ToIM TIM: what do you think of it
azn3ERRY: it was so sad
azn3ERRY: like something out of an anime movie or something
TIMe ToIM TIM: hehe
azn3ERRY: interesting
TIMe ToIM TIM: i’ve never seen one
azn3ERRY: yeah
azn3ERRY: neither have i, actually
azn3ERRY: but it sounds like it
azn3ERRY: haha
azn3ERRY: it was so tragic
azn3ERRY: and so like…
azn3ERRY: vivid
azn3ERRY: like, an actual story, not just weird random stuff
TIMe ToIM TIM: hahaha
TIMe ToIM TIM: so.. analyze it for me
azn3ERRY: analyze/
azn3ERRY: hmm….
azn3ERRY: maybe
azn3ERRY: you’re so busy trying to please everyone that you don’t have time for this person
azn3ERRY: or something
azn3ERRY: or
azn3ERRY: you don’t communicate with her enough, and she doesn’t know how yo ufeel?
azn3ERRY: or
azn3ERRY: she’s misunderstood you
azn3ERRY: somehow
azn3ERRY: i don’t know
TIMe ToIM TIM: hmm
azn3ERRY: or like
azn3ERRY: you’re too preoccupied with your own feelings that you don’t see that she has feelings too
TIMe ToIM TIM: hmm… what?
azn3ERRY: like
azn3ERRY: how you were crying and stuff
azn3ERRY: but then, you didn’t realize that she was crying too
azn3ERRY: i dont’ know
azn3ERRY: it’s like a hans christian anderson tale
andy’s analysis of the dream
And4 Lee: now, in your dream
And4 Lee: when you got the stuff for other ppl
And4 Lee: did….
And4 Lee: they ask you to get it? or you offered?
TIMe ToIM TIM: no
TIMe ToIM TIM: i felt it was my responsibility to get it for them
And4 Lee: interesting
And4 Lee: hmm
And4 Lee: this is what i think
And4 Lee: the train represents
And4 Lee: some sort of…
And4 Lee: major decision
And4 Lee: like…crossroads
And4 Lee: and…for everyone its different
And4 Lee: and for you, its with this faceless girl
And4 Lee: …lets just call her…
And4 Lee: i dunno….(censored)
And4 Lee: hahaha
TIMe ToIM TIM: haha
And4 Lee: anyway
And4 Lee: so…
And4 Lee: and the stuff that other people leave behind
And4 Lee: basically, you are helping them
And4 Lee: to get on the train and move on
And4 Lee: or make their decision
And4 Lee: the facilitator
And4 Lee: and
And4 Lee: what ends up happening is that
And4 Lee: you over…burden?
TIMe ToIM TIM: so.. everyone is going to make a major decision
And4 Lee: or…you’re just so busy so full
And4 Lee: with other ppls problems
And4 Lee: or with their “things”
And4 Lee: that…you miss your own
And4 Lee: but
And4 Lee: and you’re sad
And4 Lee: taht you missed your chance
And4 Lee: but then…
And4 Lee: hmm
And4 Lee: oh yes
And4 Lee: and then theres the white bush
And4 Lee: and this signifies your love for her, right
And4 Lee: and…everytime you cry a petal falls
And4 Lee: like you say at the end, its always growing strong
TIMe ToIM TIM: haha
TIMe ToIM TIM: i dont’ know
TIMe ToIM TIM: it was such.. an intense dream
TIMe ToIM TIM: even when it didn’t make sense..
TIMe ToIM TIM: it felt real
And4 Lee: so…it means that you cant let go
And4 Lee: of what you had with this girl
And4 Lee: your love for her doesnt die
And4 Lee: and you think you lost her
And4 Lee: so, you try to move on
And4 Lee: and you do, but you dont forget
And4 Lee: its always. like….
And4 Lee: i dunno
And4 Lee: i think your dream
And4 Lee: is about a past girl
TIMe ToIM TIM: hmm
And4 Lee: …or not
And4 Lee: haha
And4 Lee: maybe you’re afriad of….missing your chance
TIMe ToIM TIM: hmm
And4 Lee: being so…
And4 Lee: packed with other ppls problems
And4 Lee: and their drama
And4 Lee: that….you dont get make yourself happy
idrathabshort: post…something..k?
idrathabshort: anything…
TIMe ToIM TIM: alright..
haha.. i thought it was funny…
anyways… i really have nothing to post so.. here’s something for jooree… i sound like a little kid… everyone else is free to download and of course mock…
rick click and save here
oo.. i had a dream last night… a very.. odd dream… as a whole the dream is pretty fuzzy now.. but the end is the important part.. let me try to remember it…
i was getting ready to go on a train to leave this place. but so many people were leaving things they needed behind.. so i told the one i love, a faceless girl, that we’d meet at the station because i had to get all the things for the other people. when i finally got to the station i was late and the train had already left and i felt i lost the girl i loved forever. and my love for her turned into a bush of white roses. and every time a tear fell from my eyes.. a petal fell from one of the roses on the bush.
and that was how it was supposed to be till the end of time… stepping out of the scene… while still dreaming… i realized some of the petals fell even when i didn’t shed tears. i realized that the petals weren’t falling only because of my tears but they were also the tears of the girl i love. somehow going back in time and looking into her life, it turns out.. she never boarded the train because she thought i had runaway from her and she was forever wandering the streets feeling abandoned.
unknown to each other.. we lived in the same town forever.. never meeting each other again. thinking the other abandoned them. the white rose bush always growing strong with many roses… but always shedding it’s petals.
….i really don’t know about this dream… it was weird. very abstract. someone try to interpret it for me.
here’s the song lyrics to a song.. that for some reason is in my head right now.
no doubt – it’s my life
It’s funny how I find myself in love with you
If I could buy my reasoning I’d pay to lose
One half won’t do
I’ve asked myself
How much do you commit yourself?
It’s my life
Don’t you forget
It’s my life
It never ends
Funny how I blind myself
I never knew
If I was sometimes played upon
Afraid to lose
I’d tell myself what good do you do
Convince myself
It’s my life
Don’t you forget
It’s my life
It never ends
I’ve asked myself
How much do you commit yourself?
It’s my life
Don’t you forget
Caught in the crowd
It never ends
….that’s all for now.. i think it’s getting too late
i went to camp cedar falls last weekend. here’s the weekend in pictures
here’s me and jina walking on the first night to see stars… it was a very cold night
here’s me, richie and jay getting intimate… it was a very very cold night
here’s me playing guitar for worship
here’s me.. i’m on the far left getting ready to go down the hill on a frisbee
here’s me.. going down the hill on the frisbee… yay! fun
here’s me.. after going down the hill on the ground after falling off the frisbee and landing on my butt… notice everyone laughing at me except gloria. she looks concerned or.. apathetic
here’s me and joe… we’re sledding again.. we’re about to crash into dirt
here’s me and sarah… “hmmm… is that so, sarah?”
well.. camp cedar falls was supposed to be a rest and relaxation weekend. a weekend to recharge my spiritual battery.. but for some reason.. it didn’t quite turn out that way for me. i was in an irritable mood all weekend and i’m not sure exactly why.
i’m a very light sleeper and i didn’t get much sleep the first night because i decided to run early in the morning on saturday.. and saturday night.. i let sarah and jina borrow my sleeping bags.. so i had a small blanket for myself.. i think i got.. an hour of sleep that night.
on sunday.. we went bowling and i bowled a 88, 68 and a 99. terrible.. absolutely terrible. couldn’t even break 100. now i owe gloria jamba juice, she owes me a car wash, and i owe jina ice cream and home-made cookies. a 68.. i bowl practically every week.. and i get a 68?
my irritation exploded on my drive back from camp cedar falls. something as stupid as… my phone being turned off and my car seperating from the group set me off. laureen says i’m unapproachable sometimes. and this was one of those times. i was enraged. i zoned out and i was in my own world.
in the midst of my angry stupor…. jina touched my arm. and suddenly.. i crashed out of my zone. my mind felt like it shifted. it was the most incredible feeling. i’m not sure how to explain. but i felt it amazing enough that i had to write about here.. i think if anyone else had touched me, i would’ve ripped off their head. but.. for some reason.. it was different.. it was like.. my anger was taken from me. a new force was given to me.
i don’t know …
it was an interesting weekend.. through it all though.. i’m glad i went to camp cedar falls. however.. i can still feel my irritation.. wavering outside my void. and i’m trying to control it. hopefully it’ll pass…
azn3ERRY: you are pretty scary when you’re mad
azn3ERRY: or in one of your moods
azn3ERRY: i don’t know if i could handle that
TIMe ToIM TIM: hmm.. really
azn3ERRY: yes
azn3ERRY: it’s like
azn3ERRY: when you’re in the right mood,
azn3ERRY: anyone can do anything, and you’ll just let it roll off your back
azn3ERRY: but then
azn3ERRY: when you’re in the wrong mood
azn3ERRY: any little thing can set you off
TIMe ToIM TIM: when was the last time you saw me pissed?
azn3ERRY: the only time i can remember clearly
azn3ERRY: is when you were really mad that you hadn’t gone with rosemead to big bear
……
TIMe ToIM TIM: why was i mad?
azn3ERRY: but there are other times
azn3ERRY: when you just don’t seem very approachable
azn3ERRY: you were mad because
azn3ERRY: we were all standing around, trying to decide what to do
azn3ERRY: as always
azn3ERRY: and you were saying how we were wasting time, and that you should have gone to big bear with rosemad church
azn3ERRY: and you drove allllllll fast
TIMe ToIM TIM: haha.. don’t remember..
azn3ERRY: and put on your “angry” music
azn3ERRY: it was scary
azn3ERRY: it was the first time i had seen that side of you
azn3ERRY: i saw you as a completely different person
TIMe ToIM TIM: i was probably.. having ab ad day or something
TIMe ToIM TIM: i don’t remembe.r.
TIMe ToIM TIM: there must’ve been some reason.. why i wanted.. to go to big bear..
azn3ERRY: yeah
TIMe ToIM TIM: perhaps for a girl..
azn3ERRY: yeah
azn3ERRY: i thought so
azn3ERRY: well
TIMe ToIM TIM: most of the time.. i’m .. pissed it’s.. because of a girl
azn3ERRY: i c
….
azn3ERRY: you seem like a very passionate person
TIMe ToIM TIM: am i?
azn3ERRY: i think so
azn3ERRY: you are very….
azn3ERRY: you know
azn3ERRY: passionate
TIMe ToIM TIM: haha.. what do you mean?
azn3ERRY: like
azn3ERRY: when you like a girl
azn3ERRY: well
azn3ERRY: it seems to me, anyway
azn3ERRY: that you reallllly like her
azn3ERRY: or like
azn3ERRY: you have your own set of beliefs
azn3ERRY: and you stick to them
azn3ERRY: no uncertainty or wishy-washiness
azn3ERRY: just
azn3ERRY: things like that, i guess
azn3ERRY: but maybe i’m wrong
TIMe ToIM TIM: stubbornness maybe
azn3ERRY: yes
azn3ERRY: definitely that as well
….
azn3ERRY: good night
TIMe ToIM TIM: sweet dreams, laureen
azn3ERRY: thank you
azn3ERRY: you too
TIMe ToIM TIM: =)
azn3ERRY: and for what it’s worth
azn3ERRY: i do hope you find your future wife soon
TIMe ToIM TIM: thanks..
TIMe ToIM TIM: … haha
TIMe ToIM TIM: that sounds.. weird
TIMe ToIM TIM: but.. ya.. thanks
interesting to hear what certain people think of me.. i always have very interesting late night conversations with laureen. i’m sure it is on account that i get .. weird .. during the night. some say i get too weird when it gets too late.. and they want me to just go to sleep..
i rarely remember the conversation the next day anyways.
as usual… i don’t really have anything to write about… nothing that’ll be of interest to you probably. and anything of interest.. i feel like keeping to myself at the moment. nothing personal.. i just really don’t know who reads this…. i wonder if anyone actually read the long conversation i had with laureen up there.. *shrug…
someday soon..
i’m going to end this hodgepodge of nothingness with the lyrics to the song. michelle branch – breathe. the lyrics to the song are pretty good.. but more than that.. i like the guitar playing. download it… i like the guitar in the beginning and after the first time the chorus is played
…..
I’ve been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I’ve been driving you crazy
And it’s keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell my why I should stay
‘Cause I don’t want to waste another moment
Saying things we never meant to say
And I? take it just a little bit
I hold my breath and count to ten
I’ve been waiting for a chance to let you in
If I just breathe?
Let it fill the space between
I’ll know, everything is alright
Breathe? every little piece of me
You’ll see everything is alright
If I just breathe
Well the talks are overrated
Am I saying how you feel?
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what’s real
And I? get you just a little time
I wonder if you realize
I’ve been waiting ’til I see it in your eyes
If I just breathe?
Let it fill the space between
I’ll know, everything is alright
Breathe? every little piece of me
You’ll see everything is alright
If I just breathe?
Breathe? ’til I whisper in the dark
Oh can you hear? me?
Do you hear? me?
If I just breathe?
Let it fill the space between
I’ll know, everything is alright
Breathe? every little piece of me
You’ll see everything is alright
Everything is alright
If I just breathe? breathe
I’ve been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
