I awoke to a sudden jolt this morning.

… I am walking down a hall, maybe it’s a cafeteria. To the left of me I see a vending machine. The glass on the vending machine is removed; it looks like the machine is in the middle of getting loaded. No one is around. On the bottom, there’s a blue ice cream treat. I think it’s OREO. I buy it and continue walking down the hall.

To the right of me, I see the vending machine stocker. I tell him I bought an ice cream thinking he might worry that I stole it. He tells me it’s a popular new treat. I walk out the door. I’m on the street. I see my car. Blinking turn signals lights ahead. Arthur is there, and so is an older woman I don’t know.

As I get closer to my car, I see my gas tank door on the floor, a hose dangles from the tank. Arthur tells me, “It’s all gone.” I look in my car. It’s completely empty. I open my trunk. It’s amazingly clean.

Is my guitar gone? No, I put it away earlier today. My glove. It’s gone. Those bastards stole my glove. I look inside my car. I find my old glove, but not my new one.

I scream into the dark sky. “Why? Why?”

In my frantic state, I unknowingly wander into a busy street. I look down in time to watch a pair of headlights crash into my side.

Things that have happened in the past month or so:
1. Jessica’s car got broken into. GPS stolen. Window broken.
2. My guitar was cracked. I don’t know how. I think one of the youth dropped it.
3. Joey’s car got broken into. Broken window. Stolen palm holder.
4. My sister’s car was broken into. 2 Ipods stolen.
5. Jessica got rear ended. Hit and run.
6. Arthur lost his appendix.
7. My dad’s car broke down twice. (my car, as well, sits unfixed)

I keep thinking it’s only going to get better. But something keeps coming up.

I think as I long as I have something to lose, it will probably be lost. A side from Arthur’s appendix, everything else is just material and monetary loss. In that sense, I’m grateful to have things that I can lose.

Sometimes, when no one is looking, I like to sink to the bottom of the pool and look up at the surface. I feel a serene stillness when I see the chaotic rippling above me. Sound becomes empty and secondary. As my lungs ache for air, the difference between life and death is counted in precious seconds. God slows down the world for me so I can breathe.

I’ve been spinning in the morning. Then I’ve been swimming. In all other times, I’ve been struggling to stay awake. According to self.com, I burn somewhere from 1000 to 2000 calories in the morning.

After 2 weeks of it, it’s equated to me losing about 2 pounds. I didn’t really expect much but I did figure I’d be under 170 by now.

It’s not so bad; My clothes are starting to fit better so there must be something going on.

It’s funny how things in life seem to always relate to each other. In Bio, we’re learning about carbohydrates and the differences of each -ose. After spin, my coach told everyone to eat complex carbs, not simple carbs. I instantly knew what he was talking about.

After the pep-talk, I vowed to not drink as much Pepsi. After class, Jessica and I went to my new favorite place, Sbarro’s and she asked me if I wanted a Pepsi. I couldn’t say no.

What is this hold you have on me? Why can’t I shake your sweetness on my tongue? You’re so good, yet so bad. My mouth waters for you; my heart yearns for you.

My empty carbs consumption (ie. pepsi, cinnamon rolls, ice cream) probably equates to my exercise burn. If I could just stop eating badly and continue to exercise, imagine the possibilities.

The irony of all the cardiovascular exercise I do is that I turn out to be even more tired than when I don’t do exercise. Sure I can now swim 25 meters without much thought and bike for an hour, but at 12 o’clock when I walk up the stairs for Bio, my quads are killing me. Whenever I’m not exercising, I’m recovering from it. So I feel worse off than usual.

so..

I don’t feel good when I exercise because I’m tired from the exercise. When I don’t exercise, I don’t feel good because I need to exercise.

One of the many new types software I’ve been using is yahoo widgets. It’s kind of like google gadgets but the widgets aren’t confined to a side bar. It’s more like mac’s dashboard. I love it. I’d run it simply for the “one photo” widget. It looks incredible on my desktop.

I can see why it’s not that popular. If I didn’t have 2 gigs of ram and a quad core processor, I think it’d significantly slow my computer down. Each widget uses about 15 mb’s of ram.

One widget I’ve been using lately is from skinnyr.

The widget makes keeping track of my weight a breeze.

For the summer, I’ve signed myself up for some intense exercise. Cycling for 2 hours. Swimming for 2 hours. Let’s see if it makes a difference. I’ve created a mini blog with skinnyr and linked it to my sidebar. Keep track with my progress either on this post or using the link.

I used to have a mini blog about 4 years ago and each post said i weighed about 140 pounds. I almost feel like that’s a girly weight now.

I’m hoping by August this graph will look like our economy.

We did this a couple months ago after praise practice. At the end of the clip, Pastor Chung walks in and asks me who is going to lock up the church.

I don’t know why my head bobs so much.

It’s weird hearing myself play the guitar because I don’t hear this when I play. I feel like I only play chords. My talking voice is also much lower than what i hear in my head.

At times, when Jessica sings, she get gets this country twang. I love it!

I’m sure we’ll make more silly clips after finals.