it’s tuesday again.. what about me should i write about.. hmm..

last weekend i got my FTC necklace back. i took it off to play some football during super bowl weekend and it went through a lot of hands to get back to me. it felt kinda awkward not wearing it the last couple months or so.. but it feels good to wear it again.. i got this FTC necklace 3 years ago, while i was going to cerritos church. i think they were being handed out for an OKAY meeting or something. i don’t remember. and i can say with almost certainty that i’m the only one that wears it now.

F – friends

T – through

C – christ

people always ask me what it means. with a little thought i’m sure anyone could figure it out. it’s not as popular as wwjd. seeing that ftc was made by southern californian korean sda’s… i believe jd drew of the st louis cardinals always wears a wwjd necklace when he plays baseball.. although i don’t think it helps him much.. he’s always getting hurt and playing under potential. i started wearing the necklace as a gag for the guys at cerritos church. i’d wear it whenever i went to la central church but instead of friends through christ. it’d mean to me, fuck this church. don’t get me wrong. i love la central. i love the people there. but there came a time when it wasn’t church to me. i’d go to church and i’d only see glares from the elders. i’d see all my friends leaving the church. i didn’t have a place there. i became a church nomad because of it.

i went to cerritos for a little bit. riverside. rosemead. stayed at home. but eventually i came back. you see. la central is home to me. it’s kinda sad. but it seems like i’m the only person left at church who still believes la central is forever. changing from la central to livingwater fellowship was more than a name change for me. it was a declaration by the elders that they didn’t care about the college group. one by one they pushed the college leaders away. my sister, esther and david choe. countless others just got sick of how the church was being run and left. they were always thought of as inferior by the elders. i was sick of it too. and i’m still sick of it. a lot of times, i ask myself why i’m even going to la central again. i made a lot of good friends in cerritos. i made a good home in rosemead. but.. i continue to be called back to lac.

hmm… anyways…

ftc doesn’t mean friends through christ to me. well it does.

ftc doesn’t mean fuck this church anymore. well only sometimes..

to me, it means “for the call”. meaning i’ll go wherever whenever i’m needed. i’ll be there when God calls me. i’ll be there when my friends need me. even if i don’t want to be there.

**** i’m tired. excuse me for the rambling