they say… to kill a horse by starving it, you don’t take away it’s food. it’ll run away if you do that. instead… each day, you give him a little bit less food. and every day after a little less than that.. that way.. the horse starves to death without even realizing it’s hungry. that being said.. i think my parents might be starving me to death…

at the end of this summer i was at 143 and my weight was increasing.. i went on the scale today for the first time in a while.. and to my amazement i was at.. 134 pounds. i haven’t been this low since my freshman year in college when i bottomed out at 127. then, i was living at an apartment with 40 bucks a week to eat and gas money. now.. i’m living at home.. and i get 0 bucks a week to eat because my parents figure i’m at home so there’s gotta be something to eat. i’ve had one home cooked meal in 3 weeks now.

my mom yesterday told me to drink some vitamin-mineral fiber drink mix in the morning. i’m.. hungry. and my funds are starting to grow slim. yesterday i told my sister i was thinking about sending thank you cards to my relatives for birthday money. i told her that the first one i’d write would be “thanks for the money. with it i bought a pickup for my guitar”. but i joked with her .. that all the other cards would say “thanks for the money. with it i got to eat for the week.”

yah.. i don’t know. maybe i’ll make ramen again today. let me go see what i have to eat.