“take the log out of your eye before you take the speck out of mine!”

i was watching jerry springer or maury povich or one of those shows the other day… it was about paternity tests, so i assume it was maury.. anyways, the woman came out screaming this at the guy who was the supposed father of her child. (i find it always humorous that the girl is always cussing out the guy.. calling him a dumbass.. the supposed father of her child.. etc.. shows how stupid she is… but that’s beside the point) now you’re probably wonder why i brought this up… (o btw, i can’t stand midafternoon tv)

i’m sure… somewhere down the line, someone probably told her this. “you know.. he’s got issues too. it says in the bible, jesus said ‘remove the log…'” and i’m sure this thought got stuck in her head and she forgot that she had that speck in her eye. she probably thought in her own head.. that is so right. nevermind the fact that i had a child and slept with so many men that i don’t know who the father is. jesus said “remove…” because He said that, i must be right and he must be wrong….

it’s hard for people to give unbiased advice. as humans, we (i assume) naturally want to give sympathetic advice; give hope to the person who’s asking for it. we downplay that log in their eye and make it only a splinter. they make the other person’s molehill a mountain.

but this isn’t my point.

my point is.. as hard as it is to give unbiased advise, it’s harder to receive advice unbiasedly. when we go out and ask for advice, we don’t stop looking for it until we hear what we want to hear.

“should i go for that girl?”

true friend 1 : “no way, she’s bad for you”

true friend 2 : “nah.. i don’t know if she likes you”

true friend 3 : “don’t you think (blah) is cuter?”

true fiend : “sure, there’s always a chance”

we heard what we wanted to hear. “there’s a chance”. now, i should continue blindly liking this girl (even though she makes me feel like crap all the time). i should disregard the advice of the friends that probably know the situation best for the advice of an outsider. we justify it in our head.

1. “she’s not that bad”

2. “she can always start liking me”

3. “she is the cutest”

the answers are almost always within. most of the time, we already have the answer in our head. i think the hardest advice to hear is the one that confirms the doubt in your head. the doubt you’re trying to forget. i think this is a reason why we never listen to our parents. they always say things that we don’t want to hear. things that we “can’t” hear.

mom : “you’re wasting your life away”

dad : “you’re wasting your life away”

fiend: “let’s quit school and make a band”

so what’s the point of my point? it’s not to not ask for advice. instead, my point is when you do ask, listen. listen to the hard things you can’t/won’t hear because i’m sure that’s the truest advice. make sure to ask a true friend. pray about it. when giving advice, don’t sugar coat. tell it like it is. if you don’t know the situation, don’t give advice. if you haven’t experienced it, don’t give advice.

that’s my advice