i don’t know when you’ll read this.. or if you’ll ever read this. but when you do (seeing that you are reading it now)… send help or cookies.. (preferably chocolate chip ones… (like the ones from mrs fields.. (though if i eat too many of the mrs fields cookies i get sick (probably because of the chocolate (chocolate gives me the sniffles (my “first” girlfriend’s sn was sniffeles (first is in quotations because it lasted one week when i was a sophomore (so i don’t really consider her a girlfriend)))))))).

14 days and my ftp server is still down… 14 days and the web1000 site still says “MOST OR ALL SERVICES SHOULD BE FUNCTIONING NORMALLY WITHIN A FEW DAYS.” it’s been 14 days. the definition of few days must’ve changed to more than 14 days.

it’s times like these i wanna break down and use xanga. i actually posted once on it… it surprised a couple people. not what i wrote.. but that i actually wrote something… it’s times like these that i contemplate using a more reliable server with a banner… geocities, angelfire.. etc.. i think about going back to my old port5 server. too bad i’ve forgotten all the ftp info for that website.

looking back, looking over what i’ve wrote in the past… hmm.. 3 years.. i’ve written a lot of.. nothing. i think i’ve talked to someone about this… that i censor a lot of what i’m thinking. i tend to not talk about people a lot… and those that i do talk about.. seem to be the ones that know more about me than this website says… over the years i seem to have toned down a bit. life isn’t as dramatic. yesterday’s drama doesn’t seem as life threatening… tomorrow doesn’t seem as far away.

reading over what’s been written, i realize there are few constants in my life. i change my website constantly. i change friends so rapidly. i change girls that i like even more quickly. but there’s a few constants, a few people that i realize that are constant, who are dear to me and have always been dear to me. and without them, i wouldn’t know where i’d be. it seems it takes a lot to warm up to me.. or maybe for me to warm up to people. *shrug..