as i was waiting in line at fry’s today… a feat that took 40 minutes… i contemplated my feelings toward rosemead church. here’s what i came up with..
sometimes i love rosemead; sometimes …
i realized i have a total lack of trust of most of the people that go to the church. if you’re reading this, you probably don’t fall into this category. it’s a feeling that i have to get over myself but still the feeling is there
while i’d trust almost anyone from la central to cover my back if i were to go to war or to witness (witnessing is probably the harder of the two), i don’t trust most people at rosemead to hold my bible while i go to the bathroom. not that i think they’d steal it.. i don’t think stealing bibles would be a problem .. anywhere.. but that they’d just leave it somewhere.
it seems each one of them have their own agenda. and religion is only secondary. there’s certain things that really bother me. the cussing, the partying, the eating of non-sda foods.. all during church outings… among other things..
this probably ties with my lack of trust in them (trust in general)… but i find it hard that i don’t think i could be able to go up to anyone to ask for a serious prayer. at times i feel almost embarrassed when i pray before a meal. and that’s truly a terrible thing to say.
i always feel.. there’s this tension in the air… that everything is going to emotionally collapse. there’s this drama always present… girls crying.. guys crying..
the people i do trust.. might surprise you. there’s the obvious… and then there’s a couple that aren’t very. certain people i don’t trust might surprise you as well…
i’m having a hard time gelling.. don’t get me wrong. i am no saint. i’m not perfect nor close to being. but at least i try to be a better person… i don’t know if i can say that about most at rosemead.