i guess the true irony of this post is that i don’t remember what i was going to write about. for the last couple days, i’ve been telling myself to write a blog about stml but now, when i finally sit down to type, i don’t recall what it’s supposed to be about. all i remember is the title.

(S) hort
(T) erm
(M) memory
(L) oss

i’ve been realizing that my memory has been becoming progressively worse. i’m not sure when this started. it’s possible that i’ve just always had a bad memory.

for as long as i can remember i’ve always struggled with names. it’s probably the main reason i hate large social gatherings. it’s worse when even the names of people who were once close to me escape me. i dread the chance encounter at random locations. the typical “hey tim!” is followed by the proverbial “hey… you.”

i then have to assess how close this person was.

oh they’re talking to me. they’re being pretty friendly. we must’ve been close. what was something we did together? who is someone we mutually know?

have you talked to (insert name) recently?
“not really”
*awkward silence*

ok.. i’m gonna go over there
*awkward exit*

i’ve always had a hard time with numbers. i’m not sure if it’s the memory or me just not trusting myself. it’s embarrassing when i walk into the wrong classrooms or forget where i parked my car. it becomes troublesome when i forget if i turned off my computer or the oven or the iron or if i locked the door.

i rely heavily on mnemonics i’ve used them for so long, it’s become pretty natural to me. i visualize scenes in my head to remember important information. i remember directions to laureen’s old house as being a story with a surfer. to find sam’s house i picture him walking up muscatel.

remembering birthdays is trickier. some are tied with screennames. aaron’s is the 22nd (aznnamja22). joe’s is may 30th (joeking 530). and so forth. then i connect them. monica is a day after joe’s. jessica’s is 2 weeks before aaron’s. then there’s the birthdays that remind me of other things. jullie is oct 27 (102.7). esther and ted are oct 4th (10-4). hannah, who i haven’t talked to in years is Mar 4th (march forth). then i connect again. grace’s birthday is before ted’s. and then there’s jennifer’s and my niece’s. gloria’s is two weeks before jullie’s.

sadly, i can’t remember the exact birthdays of jennifer cha, susan, arthur, joey and joanne, simply because i have no mnemonic to associate their birthdays to.

i’m sorry

having a grandfather who had Alzheimer’s, the problem becomes more than worrisome for me. studies show that “. . . people with at least one first-degree relative (parent or sibling) with Alzheimer’s disease are 3.5 times as likely to develop the disease” (Genetic Health). naturally, it becomes one of the many things i contemplate at night.

watching a tv show a couple days ago somewhat eased my mind. for the life of me, i can’t remember which show it was but the doctor gave the example that Alzheimer’s “. . . isn’t forgetting where you put your keys, it’s forgetting what your keys do.” i still remember what all my keys do. although i only have two keys so it might not be a good gauge.

i got to get out of here, the guy next to me smells like a cheap cologne i used to wear when i was younger. it’s making me sick

current weight: 164.8