well.. i’m posting more often now.. i think i posted more times last month than i ever did any of the previous months. the whole.. xanga thing has totally inspired me. seems like every day i’m checking andy k’s xanga post, and after i realize he hasn’t changed anything, i go to andreia’s. and she always has this way of making.. me want to pray right after i read it.. anyways.. i was gonna post earlier.. but blogger has added a pay part of the website.. and i think they deliberately said they’re servers were too full to allow non-paying blogger users to post.. so you shell.. out the hmm.. the 3 dollars a month. eh.. there’s gotta be another blogger-like server out there.. yah.. unimportant rambling..

the last couple of days have been.. i dont’ know how to explain.. it’s been a blur and it seems like i haven’t been getting anything done.. my parents have been on their prayer week at church.. so they leave at.. 5 in the morning and come back at 10 at night.. so.. i can go countless hours without any human interactions other than my delusional ones with the tv and the digital ones online. and after hour upon hour of playing spades where your stupid partner bids a 8 when you bid a 6, things start irritating you. well i do. i start getting edgy.. and i need to get out and have some fresh air. i can’t wait until december 22nd. be able to hit someone hard, legally in a game of football. does football promote violence in me, or does it keep me from bottling it up and exploding later?

i keep seeing commercials and news reports abou the snow. and people keep talking to me about mammoth and snowboarding.. and such and such.. and i’m excited. i think the vibe at the moment is that everyone is.. i don’t think i’ve ever heard more people want to go snowboarding before… wonder why that is.. i mean.. i wanna go just cause i learned how to carve.. everyone around me seems to have gotten a board for themselves.. but it’ looks like i’m gonna be just using one of those rented ones again.. though.. i haven’t asked my parents if i could go.. i’m not sure why not.. i’m sure they’d say yes.. they have the last.. 3-4 years?.. but yah.. church needs me to drive.. and.. hmm.. i’m just thinking.. if i can’t go.. then i can’t drive.. then.. 3 other people can’t go… shrug… yah.. we’ll see what happens…

lastly.. hmm.. happy birthday, mom.. i know you don’t ever look at my website.. and i never gave you the link to my website. or.. i don’t think i’d even want you to read anything i wrote here.. happy birthday to you…

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i was gonna go to sleep right now.. it’s really late.. but i was reading someone’s xanga post… xanga is amazing really. it can make anyone look like a professional webmaster. i wonder why i put so much time into this website, when i’m sure there’s hundreds of websites that have premade webpages that look hundreds of times better.. why’d i bother learning html, when i could’ve just used dreamweaver. anyways… i was reading andreia from sd’s xanga post (monday, 11-25) and she wrote something that i’ve thought of countless times. (countless for me could be 6 or more.. i get bored after i count that high) anyways.. yah.. she wondered if wanted to die by accident is a bad thing.. i grew up strictly christian. strictly sda. and i don’t know where it’s found in the bible. but somewhere.. it’s written that suicide is a bad thing. a terrible thing. one of the worst things you can do. something about how.. if you commit suicide, you didn’t believe God could get you out of the situation.. therefore.. you didn’t really believe in God. but the loophole for me would always be.. if i died on accident.. it wouldn’t be suicide.. like.. if i .. pushed one kid out of the way of a car and got killed or something. doing stupid stuff, and.. saying.. since i’m in God’s hands.. it’s up to him if i live.. i mean.. if it truly isn’t my time to, i’d be protected, correct?…

finish putting up with all the bull that’s in this world. i’m tired of .. just.. everything… you know, we gave girls a rib, and they give us nothing but stress. i’ve been giving so many ultimatums the past couple months.. that is just.. has my head spinning. i don’t understand how God can make something so delicate, sweet, fragile, and beautiful. so deadly, poisonous, strong and scary. i mean.. how can one x instead of a y, make so much difference? it just befuddles me…. “woman.. you can’t live with them, you can’t shoot them” true lies

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what a difference one day makes.. it’s amazing some times how.. one person can make themselves be able to be on your mind by doing absolutely nothing at all.. little things like.. seeing a yellow light.. or.. pulling the ends of a straw wrapper.. make you wonder.. do they think the same thing when they come across the same thing.. anyways.. yah.. i’m not sure exactly what i’m babbling about…

just saw 007 … funny how they portray north koreans.. but overall it was a good movie.. the american spy seemed to have a bigger part in this bond movie. more than usual.. i still question some parts but.. yah.. one of the better bonds.

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like ripples in a pond…

God.. i just pray .. you know i’m looking up .. waiting for you to .. lend a hand here.. i need a smile, yah?… sigh. it’s amazing how in.. one instant.. everything can suddenly turn to great to.. what is going on… when everything that happened before.. just doesn’t matter any more. when time seems to speed up and slow down.. at the same time. and all you can feel is .. sick.. just plain.. sick to your stomach… things turn upside down.. and then just spin. over and over. where are you going to be when i feel like this?

we’re connected

It’s kinda weird how .. when someone has a bad day… everyone has a bad day. it’s like.. how yawns are contagious. moods are contagious too. it’s amazing how one little smile from the right person can make your day in a second.. just think about if you’re frowning, or sulking.. or .. crying… how would that make the right person react?…

everyone you care about is in this pond

i’ve gone to church for all my life. i haven’t missed a sabbath, not.. ‘resting’. it’s home for me. and every time i leave LA Central.. i find myself coming back to it all the time. what’s there? i don’t get my infatuation with my mistress, lac. o.. how do you tempt me to come back to your warm embrace. i love you. i miss you. i cannot live without you… i am the church. and you are the church. la central is not a building. the saying.. i’m with .. LA Central. means.. i’m with.. her.. my mistress… my love.

when you’re hurt, i feel it

yah… i’m feeling it …

someone come ease the pain…

—– gibberish at 3 in the morning

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o.. before i sleep.. i’m gonna add this as links later but… if you want to see blogger archives, read anything you missed… it’s here

the la central website i’ve been working on is here

and last but not least.. here’s the first poem i’m putting on my website. it’s written by grace… called when

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you know.. all my posts seem to be written sometime between.. 10 and 2 at night.. anyways..today was another.. blah day.. though i did .. wake up in the morning for the first time and read my bible.. i’ve been reading the student bible.. so interesting their sidenotes.. i always pray to God that i read something that’d be important to me that day. and today was no difference.. so i prayed.. and the first thing i opened to was proverbs. and the sidenote was talking about how to raise a good child.. hmm.. like i really need to read this…. so i turn the page and.. their.. the next side note. laziness. verses and verses about how laziness is bad. how procrastinating leads to nothing. really got to me.. so.. in the afternoon.. instead of my.. hours of .. doing nothing.. i called up my dad and asked him if he needed help.. he said no.. so.. i sat back in my chair.. and was lazy for the rest of the afternoon.. eh.. at least i tried?.. it’s a start i guess.. sigh.. haha.. i need to get out of this chair.. it’s too comfortable..

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well.. my honest effort lasted… 1 day?.. i’m sorry about that.. it’s kind weird cause i average more hits now than before when i used to update every day.. anyways.. yah.. a lot’s happened to be since the 2 months..almost 3 months.. that it became quiet.. my life took a couple spins.. and.. yes.. i’m not sure in what direction i’m going right now… and yet.. life as become too routine.. i can’t tell the difference of one day to the next.. and .. weeks pass like.. i don’t know.. everything.. falls on schedule.. but yah.. i gotta get out of this funk.

i really messed up my ankle 4 weeks ago, playing basketball.. yah.. i was playing basketball.. i jumped up to take a shot and landed on someone elses foot.. and i swear i heard a pop. that night.. the pain was almost unbearable.. and.. yah.. my parents decided i should go to the ER. they found nothing. so.. yah.. but.. my foot still had swelling 3 weeks after. that’s when i started on accupuncture.. wow.. that was painful.. either way.. the swellings going down.. though.. the football game is coming in a week.. man.. i hope i can jump by then… i’ve been told that i’ve actually torn some thing in my ankle.. and to stay off of it for 3 months.. but that’s just not gonna happen.

well.. so.. i haven’t ran in.. what.. more than a month now.. minus .. one time i ran.. with my foot taped up.. but that didn’t last long.. and.. man.. i’m itching to go out and run.. exercise.. be painfree.. but that’s enough for now.. how do you like my new layout?.. it changed if you hadn’t noticed. jooree told me it hasn’t.. though she’s one of the least observant people you’d meet. though… she did realize i did not mention her in my thank link.. i should add her.. but yah.. that’s enough of my life for right now.. come back later..

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checking to see if blogger works

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wow.. so many things are circulating in my head.. when will it stop

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